I can't help but be in a melancholy mood during this part of November, thinking about the irony of life...and death....
Today, November 25th, is the birthday of my brother, Noel. And even after almost 3 years of losing him, it still feels unreal...and the pain is still there. Whenever I think of going home to Manila or Bulacan, I remember him picking me up from or dropping me at the airport when I'm finally going back to Cebu. Our "lambingan" is making "asaran" (teasing each other)...When I was in college, he will pick me up every Friday or Saturday at the dorm and drop me off every Monday at SM City or Quezon Ave. Along the way we would have conversations -- about life or just plain "kulitan" and a lot of times, having disagreements, too.
But how can I stay sad or depressed when I also have to celebrate life? Tomorrow is the birthday of my eldest, Gabriel.
It's the same during Christmas since it's my favorite Holiday and day of the year (yes, even more than my own birthday!). Definitely a happy occasion -- being together with family, exchanging greetings and gifts with friends, and of course, the birth of our Lord. But the sadness is also there because we lost "Panget" (that's how I call my Kuya Noel, I don't call him Kuya..), on December 26th, the day after Christmas. *sigh*
That's the irony of life. In spite of sorrows, we still have to celebrate joys. In spite of losing a loved one, we have to celebrate the birth of another. And even if we still feel the pain of our loss, we have to move on and still count our blessings.
It's the circle of life....
I know there are those out there who feel the same as I do..and here's an excerpt from a beautiful poem...
I am peace, love, I am a soft wind that caresses
the flowers. I am the calm that follows a
raging storm. I am an autumns leaf that floats
among the garden of God, and I am pure
white snow that softly falls upon your hand.
Do not weep for me, for I shall never die,
as long as you remember me…
with a smile and a sigh."
(I posted the whole poem here: Weep Not For Me)
And as I posted on my FB status,
Happy birthday, Panget!
I hope you're happy celebrating in Heaven and watching over all of us. We love and miss you!
<3 <3 <3